In an attempt to rid the borough of Southend On Sea of boy racers, cruisers and mobility scooter abusers, the council have unveiled plans to ban all motorised vehicles from every local road on a trial ’24/7′ basis.

Ronald Bilge, the council’s Head of Transportation, feels that this will be the only effective solution to prevent the minor inconvenience of a small number of cars ‘clogging up’ the seafront for an hour or two when most people have already gone to bed anyway.

‘We have received a number of complaints, mainly from residents of Thundersley, Chelmsford and Rochford, and it is clear that we cannot allow this weekend menace to continue. I have seen this anti-social behaviour with my own eyes – last Saturday I saw two people looking under the bonnet of a Fiesta that was parked up at the side of the road by Rossi’s. They even had Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke playing at a sensible volume.’

Bilge added ‘Although a reasonable solution to some would be to simply engage with the Petrolhead community and allocate an area away from the seafront for weekly meetings, there would still be a chance of them needing to use Eastern Esplanade and Western Esplanade to get there. For this reason, there is no alternative other than banning all motor vehicle from roads throughout the borough of Southend from 00:00 on Monday morning until 23:59 on Sundays.’

The idea is to be put to a council vote within a few weeks, and a number of local residents have expressed strongsupportfor the motion.

Patrick Filange, 62, Hockley.

I’ve seen at least two films from the Fast and The Furious series – some of the skirts are virtually non-existent! How long will it be until a passing driver sees a bit of thigh and careers into a tree? Well done Ronnie Bilge!

Margaret Sniff, 58, Ashingdon.

It took me seven minutes to drive from The Kursaal to the Cliffs Pavilion last Wednesday afternoon. The traffic was really light, but a number of casino visitors were taking forever to reverse into those spaces at a slight diagonal angle. Surely stopping these awful meets on a Saturday night will help with this.

We tried contacting a representative from the local car enthusiast community for their side of the story, but we found that their response would be impossible to ‘edit’ in a way that would make them look like a complete tool.


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