Police in Southend On Sea have promised to carry out a thorough investigation after a mob of angry locals DESTROYED a £30,000 BMW CONVERTIBLE trying to rescue what they thought was a ‘trapped dog’ in today’s 27 degree temperatures – it emerged afterwards that it was actually a £4.99 MINION SOFT TOY from ASDA. Cops were called to what they described as ‘shocking scenes of vandalism’ in Cluny Square shortly after 3pm this afternoon, and the vehicle’s shocked owner is currently recovering in Southend Hospital. 

Witness Barry Parsons said: ‘I noticed a group of young mums all crowding around the car and panicking about someone trapped inside, and they were trying to pull the rear doors open – obviously that didn’t work. I heard a young girl scream ‘that chihuahua is going to die in there,’ and one of them called her boyfriend over who happened to be carrying a baseball bat at the time. He smashed the side, but the shattered frame only had a small hole, so he attacked the rest of the car as well to make sure that the animal could breathe – one of the ladies was frantically screaming at this point as she saw that it wasn’t moving.’

Shelley Fooch was the lady who originally called her boyfriend over. She said: ‘I thought that there was a dog in there, and just to be safe I got my boyfriend to break all of the windows so I could check – I also got him to slash the tyres in case the owner came back and tried to drive off before we could have a word. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t a real animal, and it was the owner’s fault for leaving the toy where everyone could see it. Anyone would do the same to protect kids or animals.’