Welcome to Southend News Network’s ongoing live coverage of traffic conditions around Southend due to a number of road closures – permission has been granted for these temporary street closures in order to hold outdoor parties celebrating the 90th birthday of Queen Elizabeth II. According to local traffic circulation officials, this ‘extraordinary day’ has led to a 24-hour relaxation of the usually stringent rules and processors that apply to a request for a whole road to be closed off, with planning chiefs able to fully process applications within an unprecedented 4-hour window.

6AM – The first closures of the day have come into effect in a number of key locations – these routes have been shut off earlier than others due to the large amount of equipment that needs to be carried into place: Victoria Avenue (Old Library – Blue Boar), Marine Parade (Pier Hill – Kursaal) and Leather Lane. DIVERSIONS ARE IN PLACE.

6.10AM – Traffic is moving slowly on the A127 approaching Cuckoo Corner from The Bell after a delivery lorry overturned and dumped more than 15 tonnes of trifle onto the road. This vehicle was scheduled to deliver its load to both the Victoria Avenue and Marine Parade parties, and motorists are being advised to refrain from driving around the crash scene due to the poor road conditions and risk of custardplaning.

6.20AM – More than 300 local fans of Queen have been left ‘heartbroken’ at the site of the Victoria Avenue party after it was revealed that an unauthorised ticket seller on Facebook charged them £30 each for tickets to the event by saying that it was a ‘Queen Party.’ To make matters worse, they have formed an angry mob and are currently involved in an ugly confrontation with security staff at the site.

6.30AM – Michelle Proop on Facebook: ‘Congrats to Her Maj and here’s to being fab at 90! All of my mates are screaming blue murder on here about the entire town in rush hour being brought to a standstill in order to let a bunch of jaded monarchists celebrate the arbitrary birthday of an unelected individual whose authority has been thrust upon the British people as a whole, but I think its well cool innit.’

6.40AM – There were joyous scenes at Southend Hospital just a few moments ago when Chloe and Dan Mron celebrated the arrival of two beautiful twin baby girls, and they have been named Elizabeth and Elizabeth. Dan said: ‘We didn’t realise that it was The Queen’s birthday today, but we wanted to name both of our babies after the inspirational woman who appears on the stamps.’

6.50AM – There are chaotic scenes on Marine Parade at the moment as a council bin lorry has just driven over most of the tables and chairs that have been set up for the seafront street party. According to a witness at the scene, the driver had no instructions to avoid the area today, and therefore the private company responsible for the town’s refuse services would have been in breach of contract by diverting.

7.00AM – Traffic is now at a standstill between Cuckoo Corner and the Fairglen Interchange due to both the Victoria Avenue closure and the ongoing trifle avalanche. Local schoolchildren with bowls and spoons are being turned away from the scene by officials due to health and safety concerns.