It’s been an up-and-down sort of finish to 2016, and although our chart adventure faded away we’re delighted to say that we are back on top of the Google page rankings for the term ‘Southend News.’

This is pretty freakin’ awesome, particularly for two reasons. First of all, it is now well established that we only publish total and utter bollocks. Secondly, because another publication that is famous for being read by 124,789 people every day will have to make do with second place for the time being. 

Their 12-foot photographer has already managed to grab top spot back with his grubby mitts since we last hit the summit, and they probably will again. However, with the all-powerful BBC News website constantly linking back to us, we’re always going to be that fly in the ointment! 

This was pretty much why I chose the name ‘Southend News Network’ in the first place – it drives Google’s algorithm and all of the ‘Campaign For Real Ale’ Internet users crazy. 

You know the type, the admin people who sit on local Facebook groups all day and remove SNN links because their readers ‘don’t want to see them.’ One of your readers just posted the link d*ckhead, so you’ve pretty much just invalidated your own argument!

This has only been achieved because of the fantastic support that you have all given Southend News Network in 2016. 

Every enraged far-right moron, every outraged mother-in-law who only reads the headline, every confused Australian who thinks that we are banning beach bikinis in Southend … it’s all down to you guys.

We’ve got some great stuff planned for 2017, including an epic tune about the sh*tpiles that are c2c and Greater Anglia. 

So have a great Christmas and New Year. Stuff yourself with turkey (or lamb if you are vegan), knock back a few sherries and get ready for Lizzie’s speech at 3pm. She’s going to announce that she is blocking Brexit you know …