Her Majesty The Queen Elizabeth II stormed into The Houses Of Parliament earlier today to tell Theresa May that she had ‘had enough’ and would be taking over the country with immediate effect.

A witness said, ‘She kicked the main doors down, walked up to Theresa May, knocked her mobile phone away with her mitre and said, ‘The hell’s going on? You not returning my calls now?’

‘She added, ‘You forget who’s really in charge, bitch? ‘How many you had resign today?’

‘After the Prime Minister had mumbled something about meetings, she grabbed Theresa’s knickers from behind, lifted them upwards sharply, and gave her some sort of Royal Wedgie.’

‘While Mrs May was howling on the floor in agony, she bellowed, ‘You could’t run a nose, fam.’

‘Parliament’s disbanded blud. Try and stop me and I’ll get this Beefeater to bust a cap in yo’ ass.’