A Freedom of Information request from Southend News Network has revealed that there are top-level government plans in place for Canvey Island to be ABANDONED before 2024. 

The so-called Operation Enduring Concord, a 568-page document detailing very precise instructions for relocating all Canvey homes, businesses and facilities to abandoned brownfield land between Chelmsford and Rettendon, is currently classified as ‘Blue Level’ – this means that key government resources are on standby to begin the process.

According to the summary, the main motivations for abandoning Canvey all revolve around its ‘below sea level’ status, and key figures in Essex County Management also feel that the operation will be more cost-effective than building a third road link off the island – the proposed site is adjacent to the A130 link that will be widened to three lanes. 

A council source told our Chief Reporter that the relocation would ultimately solve more problems than it creates. 

He added: ‘Once the entire town of Canvey has been relocated to its proposed site, and the projected 25% of existing residents have chosen to move further afield, the existing peninsular will undergo a controlled flooding to create one of the biggest bird and seal sanctuaries in Europe.’

‘When we carry out resident surveys on Canvey, the most popular response is that people want better links to the mainland, and surely there is no better way to achieve this than allowing islanders to actually live on it.’

‘The projected £40bn costs have already been covered by a modest charge on local council tax rates since Operation Enduring Concord was created in 2004 – it was just listed on council tax bills as ‘Essex Police’ for accountancy reasons.’

Local amusement arcade owner Barry Tupney said that his business wouldn’t suffer in the new location, and he told our Chief Reporter that he was excited by the news. 

He added: ‘People will still come to The Golden Carpet if it is away from the seaside, and Hanningfield Reservoir will only be a short drive away.’

‘I have seen some preliminary planning documents through a friend of mine anyway, and I am looking forward to the Roscommon Raceway Complex – a private motorsports area where people can drive however they want to for the thrill of a lifetime.’