A spokesperson for the property sales and lettings search site Rightmove has confirmed to Southend News Network that their ‘Let Agreed’ search button has been officially changed to ‘Ha Ha Look Where You Could Have Rented’ – the move comes after a survey showed that the feature was both useless and ridiculously frustrating. According to an expert consumer panel, desperate home hunters need to know about the properties that have already been taken off the market about as much as they would need to be repeatedly kicked in the stomach by a particularly aggressive donkey.

Young couple Margaret and Peter Smilch recently moved into a rented 2-bedroom flat in Southend On Sea after taking the ‘groundbreaking’ decision to reply to a card in a newsagent’s window. Peter said: ‘We started our home hunt on Rightmove, and we were delighted to find more than 250 properties within a ten-mile radius of Southend On Sea. Once we removed the results that would have involved walking on water across the Thames to something called a ‘Sheerness,’ we were then presented with lots of flats that looked amazing – the only problem was that they all said ‘Let Agreed’ next to them. Why would someone want to search for properties that have already been rented out to someone else? It seems a bit silly really, perhaps like when Jim Bowen used to get a speedboat to roll across the stage on Bullseye after the contestants had already settled for a set of decorative teaspoons.’

Margaret added: ‘Even when we managed to find a property that didn’t say ‘Let Agreed’ next to it, we would call the agency involved to be told that it had already been rented out anyway. It turns out that most lettings agents are so busy with lettings and agenting that they simply don’t have the time to go onto Rightmove and update the listing – surely it would just involve a short drive back to the office in a branded Mini Cooper. On two occasions, we arrived at a flat for a viewing, only to lose out to a couple who jumped in through the front window and forced their holding deposit into the agent’s sweaty palms.’