Fire crews and other emergency personnel from Essex have been called into North London to help recover people and property from areas that suffered from heavy flooding shortly after Tottenham Hotspur’s title hopes went down the shitpan at the London Stadium.

Although there were only mild rain showers over the evening period, unprecedented levels of crying among Tottenham Hotspur fans led to certain areas around Edmonton, Seven Sisters and Golders Green being under anything up to four feet of water.

The deluge began shortly after Manuel Lanzini poked home from close range, and the first inflatable rescue vehicles had already been deployed at 10.15 pm once the final whistle had been blown.

Minicab entrepreneur Dave Davidis said: ‘I was only listening to the match on the radio as I was on my way back from an airport drop at Luton, but as I approached the Seven Sisters Road I noticed that my unlicensed Datsun Bluebird was wading through three feet of water.

I was stranded a few minutes later, and I had to cancel another three jobs that must have cost me at least a pony or more.

I am gutted for the boys though, and I really thought that this would be our year this year. But it’s ok though because next year will be our year – it has a ‘one’ in it after all and a seven at the end, and that’s the number of the mighty Heung-Min Son. COYS!’

In a late development that is sure to bring the North London community closer together than ever before, thousands of local Arsenal supporters offered to donate ‘Wenger Out’ banners to try and form flood defences around homes that were at the highest risk of flooding.

Middle Edmonton Gooners Supporters Club President Jeremy Brickwall said: ‘Now is the right time to put our differences aside and help our fellow North London fans, and this is a perfect way to use our banners that call for Arsène Wenger to resign or be sacked.’

‘The Arsenal board have already made it clear that he will only be forced out if he is caught eating a live baby or a litter of puppies, so it’s great to offer this material to help mop up the collective tears of delusion.’