A spokesperson in 10 Downing Street has confirmed that the United Kingdom has appointed a team of administrators this afternoon.
Although there was speculation about a last-minute takeover bid from Costa Coffee, this now appears to have fallen through.
He said, ‘The public should remain calm – no plans about redundancies will be announced until after the World Cup in Russia.’
Diane Frigo of administrators Delicious and Touchy Touchy said, ‘A number of factors have led to this decision being taken today.’
’There is currently a very challenging international environment, with most of our neighbours wondering why we have collectively lost our fucking minds.’
’Our credit rating has also been lowered to ‘Brighthouse Sofa.’
Although it is officially ‘Business As Usual,’ members of the public have reported seeing workmen packing up Wales into boxes this afternoon.