A local personal injury claims lawyer has contacted Southend News Network with his own theory about why the original Southend Airshow was cancelled after many years of bringing in serious tourist income and raising the profile of the town.

Shaun B Schmuck, lead claims handler for law firm Schmuck, Tucker and Chuckle Associates of Leigh Road, believes that town chiefs feared a wave of personal injury claims from people who spent extended periods of time with their heads raised to view passing aircraft – citing strains to neck muscles and upper back trauma. He explained, ‘Going to an airshow means that you are looking at the skies for long periods, and this means that your neck muscles are working incredibly hard to ensure that you don’t miss a single second of the action. Standing near the Cliffs Pavilion means that your chin would be raised by 30 degrees more than normal, while standing next to Rossi’s could lead to 60 or 70 degrees of additional chin leverage – this can actually be a fatal amount of neck strain, and therefore I am not surprised that those in power wanted to get rid of the airshow.’

He continued, ‘In reality, this sort of madness could have been avoided if all spectators could lie flat on their back on the ground, with their eyes facing the sky directly, but to tell the truth this would open up a whole new wave of personal claims from people sticking their heads in dog poo by accident. Overall, it was far easier to get rid of the whole spectacle, and quite sensibly those in charge of tourism can now concentrate on promoting the town through events that only involve looking straight ahead – this would include The Carnival, Ice Skating, shopping and so on.’

We spoke to a local resident who attended every single airshow until the event was cancelled, and his gaze is now permanently fixed on the sky due to a total failure of his neck and upper spinal column. Barry Flagpole, 58, said, ‘I have seen some of the greatest aerial displays that a man could ever wish to experience, but I am now paying the price for my desire to see our town flourish. Everyone that I meet thinks that I am incredibly rude as I can never make eye contact with them, but on the other hand my permanent upward gaze puts me in the best possible position to enjoy the airshow if it does return one day.’