A spokesperson for the Department of Education has confirmed that Welsh will become a mandatory element of the National Curriculum by September 2018. The decision means that all children between 4 and 16 in British schools will need to study the language for two hours per week, with heavy financial penalties dished out to schools who refuse to comply. 

The idea is the brainchild of Daffyd Canardo – the MP for the Welsh constituency of Rarebit and Neath and head of the British Council of Welsh Heritage Preservation. He told Southend News Network that this was a ‘momentous’ achievement for his organisation.

He added: ‘Throughout the referendum campaign, we were promised a package of rewards by central government in return for s strong Welsh turnout for Brexit – well here we are!’

‘The first stage of this process is based on our recommendation for all British children to learn Welsh, as ultimately this will be far more useful for our upcoming national existence outside of the European Union. We are delighted that Whitehall is keeping this element of the promise to our proud principality.’

‘It also makes perfect sense from a tourism perspective. 5000 people were recently surveyed across England, Scotland and Northern Ireland, and 80% said that they were ‘concerned’ about a holiday in North and Mid-Wales because of the language barrier. The other 20% said ‘rain’ but there isn’t much that we can do about that!’

We asked Mr Canardo about the other elements of this so-called ‘deal’ for a strong Welsh Brexit vote. He told us that some details are still being ‘thrashed out.’

He added: ‘I can’t say too much at the moment, but I can confirm that talks are underway to open an extra Premier League place exclusively for a Welsh football club. This would mean a swift return to the big time for Cardiff, Barry Town or TNS.’

‘I can also categorically deny the rumours that Amazon has a stockpile of 500,000 native language Fireman Sam DVDs.’