Political commentators have been describing their SHOCK this morning after it was announced that France had decided that they didn’t quite fancy being run by Nazis for a second time.
Speaking to Southend News Network, Professor Emmanuel Branleur of the University of Vange said that he found the decision ‘utterly baffling.’
The expert in French political science added: ‘I just don’t understand it. It all went so well the last time around, but now that the opportunity has presented itself again more than 65% of the electorate has said ‘non, merci.’
‘They even went to the trouble of putting a mildly attractive façade on it this time – almost ‘milf-like’ in nature, or as they would say ‘une maman qui je voudrais baiser.’
‘She made it perfectly clear that she wasn’t going to stop all immigrants from getting into France – she just said that she was going to apply a ‘total and non-temporary cessation of all inbound intra-nation movement.’
‘I really don’t see what was so difficult to understand.’
We spoke to Ms Le Pen shortly after the result was announced, and she told our Chief Reporter that she was thinking about her next move carefully.
She added: ‘My career in politics is far from over. I think I will try and run for government in a country where, as we would say, ‘les dindes choisissent le Nöel.’
‘It’s a tricky one though. If only there was a country nearby where that sort of thing happens. I could plaster ‘free Mars bars for everyone’ on the side of a red bus and everything.’
Meanwhile, messages of congratulations have been flooding in from all over the world for president-elect Emmanuel Macron.
German chancellor Angela Merkel tweeted: ‘Good, good …,’ and in Brussels the EU chiefs Donald Tusk and Jean-Claude Juncker were spotted off their tits in a local bar crying tears of joy while doing a slow dance to ‘I’ll Always Love You’ by Whitney Houston.