Count Duckula Ordered To LEAVE THE UK By The Home Office


Count Duckula has revealed to Southend News Network that he has been ordered to leave the United Kingdom within 28 days by the Home Office. 

According to the part-time avian vampire and part-time media consultant, he received a letter last week stating that he no longer has the leave to remain in the UK as bungling work permit officials hadn’t realised that the ITV series ended in 1993.

It added that repeats on CITV do not count under the terms of immigration law.

He said: ‘I honestly thought that this bullshit would have gone away when Romania joined the European Union.’

‘The foaming Brexiteers have won again. What the hell am I supposed to tell Igor and Nanny?’

‘I’ve tried getting a job on the revamped series of Danger Mouse instead, but the BBC said that the budget wouldn’t stretch.’

‘I am ashamed to call this my home now. Wait until they catch up with Mr Spoon – someone told me that he’s technically a resident of Button Moon and that Blanket Sky hasn’t entered Schengen yet.’

‘Zippy is probably bollocksed as well as nobody knows what he is, let alone where the hell is from.’

‘I wish I had gone for the role of Scrooge McDuck now. He’s done alright as well – someone told me he’s rolling in it.’

A spokesperson for the Home Office said: ‘We cannot comment on individual cases. This is mainly because we haven’t got a fucking clue what’s going on from one day to the next.’