30,000 Houses Washed Away After Man Knocks Over Sports Direct Mug Of Tea


More than 30,000 homes have been washed away in South Essex after a man from Southend knocked over a Sports Direct mug of tea.

Shortly after 3pm today, Giles Kursaal from Rusty Knot Close was enjoying a cuppa in his £1 branded accessory when his cat Parsons leapt onto his desk and caused him to throw his drink all over the floor.

Within minutes, a tsunami of tea was visible from across the Thames Estuary in Kent, and 20ft waves were reported to the emergency services.

A witness said, ‘I have never been so terrified.’

‘A police helicopter arrived to begin airlifting people who were stranded on top of their homes, but nobody saw it as they were all indoors posting on Facebook to say that they had seen a police helicopter and were wondering why it was hovering around.’

‘If they don’t take the local crimewatch group down within the next thirty minutes, I fear that thousands could drown.’

This shocking news comes on the same day as thousands of people have excitedly queued up all over the UK for the reopening of Sports Direct stories.

Members of the public are now being asked to ‘think twice’ before purchasing one of these mugs if they live in a built-up area or somewhere with poor drainage.