Ofcom To Recycle All 24,000 BGT Complaints Into Gammon Angerw*nk Tissues

A spokesperson for Ofcom has confirmed that all of the 24,000 complaints that have been received over Diversity's performance on Britain's Got Talent will be recycled into...

Idris Elba Cast As Nigel Farage In Movie About Brexiteer

A source within a major Hollywood studio has confirmed that the English actor Idris Elba has been chosen to play Nigel Farage in an upcoming biographical movie...

Club Tropicana Drinks To Rise To £6.50 In No Deal Brexit

It has been announced that Club Tropicana drinks will rise to £6.50 in the event of a No Deal Brexit. According to a report from the West...

Parents Celebrate As Bing Contracts Myxomatosis

Parents all over the United Kingdom have been celebrating today after it was confirmed that Bing has contracted the usually fatal viral disease myxomatosis. According to reports, it...

Karens Prepare For 4th July After Only Being Able To Karen Online For Last...

Karens across the United Kingdom have been rejoicing at the news that once again they will be able to Karen again in person from 4th July. Karening establishments...

Man Who Clapped For NHS To Spend 4th July Drinking Until He Pisses Out...

A man who spent numerous Thursday evenings clapping for the NHS during lockdown has confirmed that he intends to spend 4th July drinking until the point where...

Aircraft Company Launches New Service To Let Everyone Know You Have An Incredibly Tiny...

An aircraft company from Lancashire has launched a new service where you can let everyone know that you have an incredibly tiny penis. Chipolata Aviation Ltd aims to...

Fundraising Campaign To Sue Twitter For Suspending Katie Hopkins Reaches Almost £28,000

A fundraising campaign to instigate legal proceedings against Twitter for suspending Katie Hopkins' account has now reached £34,000 including gift aid. According to the creator of the campaign,...

Farage Enters USA On Inflatable Dinghy To Bypass Travel Ban

The leader of the Brexit Party Nigel Farage has confirmed that he entered the USA on an inflatable dinghy to avoid lockdown restrictions and the travel ban...

Arsenal Squad Tests Positive For Being Utter Fucking Dogshit

The entire Arsenal squad has tested positive for being utter fucking dogshit. Shortly after the 2-1 defeat to Brighton and Hove Albion on Saturday, the swab tests...