A study has revealed that 96% of people who are being referenced with the phrase ‘you know who you are’ on Facebook are actually unaware that they are you know who you are because they are not a fucking mindreader.
Dr Clive Gland of the University of Westeros told us that a modern Facebook trend of having to tell people that they know who they are without being able to name them because you can’t say on here as there are too many snakes means that potentially there are millions of people in Britain who are in doubt about whether or not they are the target of any given Facebook post.
He said, ‘What people could do is just tag them and give up on the whole attention-seeking, passive-aggressive narcissism shit.’
‘At least that way we wouldn’t end up with you know who you are being in some sort of you know who you are limbo because they are ignorant of the fact that they should know that they are you know who you are.’
‘These posts are often accompanied by a selfie with bunny ears or the text being written on that ‘FUCKING WELL LOOK AT ME’ colourful background.’
A spokesperson for Facebook confirmed that people are indeed allowed to say on here at any given time, contrary to the popular belief that everything on Facebook has to be vague as fuck.
However, Facebook Michelle Garridge confirmed that this isn’t true.
She said, ‘That’s why Facebook invented private messages to give people who feel that they may be you know who you are the ability to privately confirm that they are indeed you know who you are.’
‘I made the mistake of just coming out with this piece of information once and it got me banned for a month.’