The proposed route of the M12713, hooking onto the M25 like a small earring under a bigger earring. We plotted it on Google Maps to look cool.


A taxpayer-funded consultation has declared that the proposed one-way system for the A13 and the A127 will simply not work, and the plans have been scrapped in favour of upgrading sections of the A13, A127 and A130 into an orbital motorway that includes a small part of the M25.

Jeremy Potty was the driving force behind the idea, and he said that he was inspired to design the new orbital motorway during a visit to Lakeside Shopping Centre. He said, ‘I was waiting for my wife outside Sports Direct, and I saw a young girl walking along with two hooped earrings hanging off each ear. It suddenly came to me that this shape would work perfectly from the M25 to South Essex, with the A127, A13 and A130 making up the smaller hoop.’

However, before the work has even started there is a furious argument brewing over the name for the new orbital motorway. A127 loyalist groups have threatened to ‘unleash hell’ if M127 is not chosen, and the A13 fundamentalist movement ‘A13 Forever’ have said that they will block the Nevendon Flyover with torched caravans if the A13 name is lost. Local government officials are keen to use M12713 in order to preserve the cultural identity of both roads, and whatever the name will be, it has already been confirmed that the Fortune of War roundabout will be merged with Sadlers Farm to minimise costs.

Work on the new motorway is due to be completed in August 2019, and residents on Canvey Island can expect minor disruption as the A130 from Sadlers Farm to the island will be shut for routine polishing while the work is carried out.



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  1. I am horrified at the suggestion of merging the A127 with the A13. Everyone knows the A13 is used by rubbish-heads, and the thought of letting these “drivers” anywhere near the far superior A127 is a joke. They should sack the lot of them.