An aircraft company from Lancashire has launched a new service where you can let everyone know that you have an incredibly tiny penis.

Chipolata Aviation Ltd aims to allow people the chance to compensate for those for whom it would feel like slinging a sausage down a corridor through the medium of displaying an airborne banner of such absolute fuckwittery that it would make a Britain First meeting look like an episode of University Challenge.

Dave Siyuenti is the chief executive, and he told us that he’s already had more than three hundred enquiries from people who have a large carp in their Facebook profile image.

He added, ‘For just a few hundred pounds, you can make it be known that you’re packing the sort of tackle that would make a household gnat feel like Ron Jeremy.’

‘We also have a number of premium options, including a second aircraft to follow the original message with ‘hurrrrrrrrr de durrrrrrrr durrrrrrrgh.’

‘We’ll revolutionise the industry. Until now you had to go out and buy an Audi or something.’