Alf Garnett has been appointed as the new Foreign Secretary following Boris Johnson’s resignation, with Theresa May’s spokesperson describing the East London native as having a ‘no nonsense approach’ to international relations.

According to a brief statement, Garnett is someone who ‘isn’t afraid to call a spade a spade, quite literally.’

Her spokesperson added, ‘We knew that it was important to appoint someone who is in touch with working class people in Britain, and Alf has many years of experience in this field.’

‘Our original choice of that bloke from Love Thy Neighbour wasn’t available due to other commitments.’

As part of the developing cabinet reshuffle, it has also been confirmed that Michael Gove will move to head up the new Ministry Of Not Getting Wet Or Being Fed After Midnight.