A spokesperson for the BBC has confirmed that the licence fee has been ‘scrapped with immediate effect’ after the only person who was bloody well worth paying for sadly passed away.
Many families will now save more than £140 per year after the death of the legend of light entertainment Sir Bruce Forsyth aged 89 on Friday.
He said: ‘In the first 30 minutes after Sir Bruce’s death was announced, more than 350,000 licences were cancelled and full refunds were demanded – this forced an emergency meeting of the BBC Trust Executive Committee.’
‘After listening to call centre recordings, it became clear that Sir Bruce Forsyth was the only person who was actually worth paying for in a sea of utter rubbish.’
‘One person even remarked that they would rather watch a total lack of Bruce Forsyth due to his partial retirement than spend three seconds listening to Reggie Yates or the one who they replaced the other one with on Bargain Hunt.’
As a result of the cancellation, it is now thought that the entirety of the BBC’s TV, radio and international services will be funded by Gary Lineker with a deduction from his own salary for presenting Match Of The Day.
A source has also said that budget cutbacks will force the Beeb’s Brexit Degradation Team to be downgraded to a skeleton staff of just 75 across four sites.
He added: ‘We have also applied to Dale Winton’s manager for a partial refund with immediate effect – £10,000 for every episode of the lottery draws should cover it.