There were horrific scenes in Westminster today when the Conservative MP for Rayleigh and Wickford Mark Francois dramatically melted during a heated argument with Remain protestors outside the Houses of Parliament.
Shortly after the temperature reached 38 degrees Celsius in the capital this afternoon, a witnesse said that Francois reacted to shouts of ‘Stop Brexit’ with such a level of rage that he melted like ‘The cyborg from Terminator 2. Not the good one, the bad one.’
He added, ‘Within seconds, Francois went from fully upright with a face like the only Fruit Pastilles that people actually like to a pond of ectoplasm.’
‘Shortly after this, police arrived to collect the essence in a Thermos-like container, and all that we could hear were repeated cries about being in the army or something.’
The news comes just a few months after fellow Tory MP James Duddridge ruptured his anus while attempting a Tory Power Stance.