A spokesperson for the government of the United Kingdom has confirmed that all borders have been closed with immediate effect after a request was made by a member of the audience on BBC’s Question Time.

According to the latest announcement, every sea, air, rail and land border will now have an organisation in place known as ‘UK Border Force’ who will only allow people to enter once they have had their documentation checked and if they have permission to do so, with everyone who doesn’t qualify being turned away or put on the first means of transport back to their country of origin.

He said, ‘Watching last night’s Question Time has made this government realise that we have been doing it all wrong so far – it’s time to start applying rigorous checks at every border so that we can have complete control over everyone who is entering the United Kingdom.’

‘Take Heathrow Airport as an example. Until now, people have just stepped off the plane and straight onto the London Underground – they will now have to queue up and go through a process known as ‘immigration control.’

‘If they wish to also work in Britain, it will also no longer be the case that they can just turn up if they get bored at home in India one day, wander into their nearest hospital and start work as a neurosurgeon.’

‘Based on the recommendations of Barry from Barnsley, we have decided to introduce a piece of documentation called a ‘work visa.’