The Prime Minister Theresa May has confirmed that foreigners who are in the United Kingdom will only be allowed to remain after Brexit if they don’t want to know what love is. 

The decision was highlighted an a White Paper that was released today.

Speaking to the House of Commons, she said: ‘Foreigners will be more than welcome to stay, but we simply can’t tolerate them asking what love is.’

‘It becomes irritating when native British citizens have to stop whatever they are doing whenever someone from outside the country needs clarification about the concept of romance.’

‘They become an even bigger drain on society when they have to be shown as well – whether it is with a PowerPoint or through the medium of interpretive dance.’

‘I admit that getting immigration right after Brexit will be a mountain to climb, but this solution will bring a lot of relief to David Davis who has had the world on his shoulders lately.’

‘Foreigners also contribute a lot to society, and so they can’t stop now as they have travelled so far to change this lonely life that they have been leading.’

The U-turn on immigration is a massive change of plan from the government, who originally planned to only allow EU nationals to remain in the United Kingdom after Brexit if they could demonstrate a good grasp of the English language and the ability to make 16 different shades of tea from ‘builder’s’ to ‘cat piss.’

A spokesperson for the Brexit Department said: ‘We have taken a little time, a little time to think this over, and we feel that this solution will be acceptable to our Brussels counterparts.’