An 18-year-old Brexit supporter who didn’t get any A-Levels has been describing his delight today after discovering that he had gained a place at the University of Hard Knocks.

David Nash-Flounder found out his fate this morning at the same time as thousands of other students around the United Kingdom were finding out about how they would be spending the next three or four years.

He will be following in his father Derek’s footsteps, who said, ‘I couldn’t be prouder of him.’

‘Everyone in my family has been to the University of Life or the University of Hard Knocks, and it never did us any harm.’

‘No tuition fees either, or pointless years abroad where they have funny accents and you get the shits.’