A 25-year-old British holidaymaker in Spain has expressed his shock after he discovered that the Spanish word for ‘beer’ isn’t just the word ‘beer’ screamed very loudly while pulling your right hand downwards in some sort of pumping motion.

According to Michael Lingo from Southend, he made the discovery in the Costa Del Trotto resort of Fulinglis yesterday after a local barman just shrugged his shoulders at Michael’s second attempt to ask for a glass of Estrella.

He said: ‘I really don’t know what else I could have done to get my point across. I thought that making a pumping motion to simulate the movement of someone dispensing a lager through a draught system would have made myself perfectly clear, but this particular bar only had bottles in fridges.’

‘In the end one of the locals had to intervene on my behalf, but that wasn’t the end of my difficulties on the night.’

‘When I wanted to pay, I repeatedly ran my index finger across the palm of my other hand in a writing motion while shouting ‘the bill please’ at the top of my voice, but they just just dispense it from a till system.’

‘If they want to carry on making money from us British people the very least that I would expect them to do is learn how to speak English.’

‘This guy must be incredibly shit at charades on Christmas Day. His poor family.’

‘People in Spain are clearly able to understand body language anyway as I approached a couple of hot-looking local girls.’

‘Before I could even open my mouth one of them said ‘no thanks, I’m not into sweaty lobsters.’