People all over the United Kingdom have been commemorating the 594-day anniversary of racist fuckwits being given the vote. 

At one event in Southend, Essex, Emmet Wankhurst told us that people should ‘stop and reflect’ upon the struggle that his kind went through to get the right to send the United Kingdom head-first into a whole world of shit.

He said: ‘We marched through Facebook group after Facebook group for the right to vote, and people just laughed at us.’

’OK fair enough it was because we kept telling Pakistanis that Brexit would send them all home, but they laughed at us.’

We asked Mr Wankhurst what his thoughts were about ‘suffragettes.’

He said: ‘They’re OK, but I’m more of an Airbus A380 man myself.’

’I can’t wait to get on one of them with my blue passport.’

Mavis Clump, an elderly voter who died in August 2016, told Southend News Network this morning that she remembers being dragged underneath a horse while demonstrating about what she believed in.

She said: ‘I was at an English Defence League rally in Barnsley, and I must have had a few sherries by the time I got up there as I remember feeling proper naughty.’

’I saw the backside of a police horse and swore that it was winking at me, so I went to have a word and next thing I know I was on my arse.’

In Basildon town centre, a ‘Book Of Reflection’ was opened and members of the public were invited to contribute with their own attempts at how ‘sovereignty’ is spelt.