It has been confirmed that the C2C railway is proper fucking fucked this afternoon after some overhead power cables decided that they didn’t fancy being overhead anymore.

Services on the Grays and Tilbury section are affected by the fuckedness, and a source said, ‘We would advise passengers to take rail replacement buses, and tickets are being accepted on Greater Anglia railway services that go absolutely nowhere near the place that you are probably trying to get to.’

‘However, we suggest that passengers have a quick word with the driver when they get on at Liverpool Street or Stratford to see if they mind nipping down to Chafford Hundred on the way home.’

The news comes as passengers have been left confused by a change in the C2C logo on Twitter.

A rainbow above the traditional logo is thought to be a symbol of solidarity with the Pride movement, although many believe that it is a clear indication that the railway is actually being run by Bungle, George and Zippy.

At the time of writing, crowds are beginning to build outside Fenchurch Street station, with the scene resembling one of those Live Aid videos from the 1980’s.