A spokesperson for the North Korean government has confirmed that they have purchased the C2C railway that runs between London, Southend and Shoeburyness. 

During a brief press conference he said, ‘Our glorious dear and wise leader has seen fit to invest in this shining example of British transport infrastructure.’

’Our official attended a Meet The Manager event and noticed a high-ranking party member speak forcibly with little emotion about how fantastic everything is with a total disregard for one clusterfuck after another.’

‘I could have been watching Pyongyang News At Six, I swear.’

’Corbyn said he wanted to nationalise the railways, but he didn’t specify which nation.’