The leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the disgraced ISIS terrorist Shamima Begum should be allowed to return to the United Kingdom in the event that Labour wins December’s General Election. 

Speaking to journalists, he said, ‘They should give her a 23-bedroom council house as well. Somewhere nice and leafy with plenty of mosques just in case she wants to have a bit of an old pray.’

’Don’t forget a new car as well. None of that used rubbish, with a spare car just in case the other car has to go in for valeting.’

’The government should supply everything that she needs to settle back in this country, including all of her furniture, a fridge freezer, a gas cooker, a selection of the latest ladies fashions, a VHS player, a hostess trolley, a Morphy Richards tea maker, a sauna sarolium, and the £452 that she won with Bobby George before the commercial break.’

’She can trade it all in for whatever’s behind the stage, but she’s only got the time it takes to spin the board to make her mind up.’

After a few moments, it became clear that there would be the possibility of a speedboat towed by a 1991 Austin Metro.

Naturally Corbyn never actually said any of this, you Daily Mail-reading, hoofwanking bunglec*nts.