It has been announced that the toll to use the Dartford Bridge or Dartford Tunnel will be waived for anyone who can get from one end to the other in 30 seconds or less. 

The news comes after hundreds of people complained about the £1.67 prepaid credit toll being raised to £2.00 for no reason other than the fact that the whole thing is a racket so huge that Al Capone and Tony Soprano would be standing up and applauding by now.

A spokesperson said, ‘We wanted to give something back to motorists, and we were unable to scrap the toll completely as we are still £73m short of covering our construction costs.’

’Therefore, anyone who can pass between the two boundary lines in 30 seconds or less can have it on us.’

’We should also remind motorists that all speed limits have to be observed at all times.’

In other news, it has also been revealed that escorts for large, dangerous lorries in the tunnel will be scrapped.

A leaked email stated, ‘It’s a tunnel FFS. You drive in one end, and you come out the other.’

’It’s not like The Crystal bastard Maze, is it?’