A representative of the Daily Mail has confirmed that precisely zero mailing list subscribers have replied to the newspaper’s GDPR opt-in Email. 

According to a source, this is mainly due to their current database of 25 million subscribers suddenly realising that the outlet is full of shit.

He added, ‘With the deadline drawing nearer, the bosses have been forced to start offering anyone who re-confirms a Royal Doulton tea service depicting Prince Philip calling a little Tongan boy ‘oogaboogaboo.’

’Perhaps indirectly calling for the public execution of any public figure who dares speak out against Brexit was a bit of a dick move as well.’

A senior editor said, ‘We’ll probably just ignore GDPR. Bloody Brussels meddling, protecting our personal data.’