When did it become acceptable to wish people a ‘Happy Monday’ or ‘Happy Tuesday’ and so on?

It all started with the Shoreditchy media types replying to emails, you know the sort of people who went and did a degree in media studies so they could get a job in the media and have a scooter that is powered by organic quinoa paste.

Fast forward a few years, and now people are doing it left, right and centre.

First of all, what the hell is so ‘Happy’ about it?

It’s 7am. I’m standing on a packed train carriage that wouldn’t look out of place in Bangladesh. Some prat is using the ‘Quiet Zone’ to tell his nearest 75 bystanders that he inhaled three grand’s worth of coke off his secretary’s hamstrings last night.

But wait. All is fine. Someone in the office that I can barely tolerate in real life has just wished me a ‘Happy Friday.’ How heart warming.

From now on, I am going to issue one single piece of advice to anyone who tries to pull this crap.

Head to the beach, have a paddle, and keep going. Further. A little further. That’s it – keep on moving.