A spokesperson for The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump’s July 2018 visit to the United Kingdom will include a trip down to the Essex seaside for a tour of Southend-on-Sea.
The President of the United States will finally be arriving in the country this Summer after months of negotiations, and his Press Secretary Sarah Huckerbee-Sanders told Southend News Network that the South Essex town has always been on his list of top destinations.
She said, ‘Americans have long been fascinated with your pier, and The President is aware that while it is the world’s longest pleasure pier, the longest pier of any type is actually in Mexico in the city of Progreso.’
‘As part of his ongoing efforts to encourage the Mexican government to co-operate with the United States on immigration and customs issues, he is keen to discuss financing an extension to Southend Pier to take this title outright.’
‘By offering to extend Southend Pier to a shade over four miles in length, he feels that this will be a valuable bargaining chip as talks continue.’
We asked Press Secretary Sanders for more details about the day that Trump will be spending in our town.
She said, ‘The President is a huge fan of tuppenny nudgers and those ‘how hard can you punch’ machines, and so after spending some time on The Golden Mile (perhaps in Happidrome), he will have just enough time to pop to Leigh-on-Sea and grab some shaving gear from Uptomen Accessories.’
‘His time in Leigh may be limited due to his habitual dislike of hipsters and kale.’