A spokesperson for Easyjet has confirmed today that a route from Southend Airport to yet another Brit-infested chavhole will begin in November. Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to Southend News Network, South East Chief Operations Director Natalia Gunt said that no airline is currently doing more to whisk passengers from South Essex to some of Europe’s most exotic destinations where guests can both eat and drink until they truly cannot feel feelings anymore. 

Ms Gunt said: ‘Holidaymakers from South Essex are spoilt for choice when it comes to routes from Southend Airport, and for the first time we are delighted to be starting a route to somewhere foreign that people from the area should be able to pronounce. Gran Canaria basically sounds like what it looks like, and we are giving thousands of people the opportunity to go and shout English very slowly at someone in a whole new location. The Mayor of Gran Canaria has already been in touch to thank us personally.’

Bonnie Strando is a regular user of Southend Airport, and she said that the news was fantastic. She added: ‘This is fantastic news for both Southend Airport and the town as well. Southend Airport is without a shadow of a doubt the greatest thing in the history of everything ever, and as such it should be covered mercilessly in local media under the pretense of ‘news.’