A 21-year-old girl from Essex has admitted feeling ‘really embarrassed’ after she accidentally filled her 2003 shitbox Ford Ka with DIESEL FAIRYDUST. 

Zoe Bajazzle of Fairfax Drive told our Chief Reporter that she was stranded at Cuckoo Corner on the A127 for THREE HOURS while she waited for the RAC to arrive.

She added: ‘I have always remembered to use unleaded fairydust ever since buying my Ford Ka for £200 off Gumtree a few years ago – I have literally and figuratively no idea what I was thinking.’

‘I was distracted at the petrol station as I was admiring the headlight eyelashes that my boyfriend Zvon bought me for our three-month anniversary.’

‘I paid in the shop as usual, and about thirty seconds after leaving the Shell garage my engine made an unbearable growling noise and the car just broke down.’

‘It took a group of one of us to push it to the side of the road, and I can’t believe it took them so long to come out and rescue me.’

‘My mechanic said that it would be £500 to put things right. Thank heavens I was wearing something low cut or it could have been at least £750.’

Her boyfriend Zvon confirmed that he had taken additional measures to stop her making the same mistake in the future.

He said: ‘I’ve updated her bumper sticker to say ‘Powered By Unleaded Fairydust,’ and I’ve also taken away the large furry dice hanging from the rear view mirror to stop her driving into walls.’

The RAC declined to speak to our Newsdesk, mainly because they were finding it difficult to breathe due to the hilarity of it all.