In an emergency address to the House of Commons, the Prime Minister Theresa May has passed an immediate law making it mandatory for the entire British adult public to sit through the paedophilia episode of Brass Eye at least ten times in a row.
According to Mrs May, this radical instruction is essential so that everyone can calm the fuck down and stop British society from descending into full blown hysteria.
She said, ‘You know what? That Chris Morris was bang on the fucking money.’
‘We’re proper through the looking glass now.’
However, in an unexpected development, within an hour of the law being passed more than 200 schools had been burnt down across the country by citizens concerned that they were incognito paedophiles.
Sales of filing cabinets have also rocketed by 20,000%.
Primark have also reported a massive surge in requests for ‘trust me trousers,’ and Gary Lineker was unavailable for comment.