It has been announced by the European Commission that Cadbury Freddos will banned across the European Union from November 2018 as the frog character is ‘insulting’ to French people.
Spokesperson Jerome Robsonne added that a remedial reparations payment of €500m would be made to the nation of France as an apology for any offence caused.
It is thought that these funds will come in part through a modest increase to the United Kingdom’s Brexit divorce settlement.
Mr Robsonne added, ‘To call a French person a ‘frog’ is a disgraceful insult, and yet a number of our member states have been selling this insult personified in a confectionery snack for many years.’
’Therefore, this ban will impose the message that the future of the European Union is a harmonious one, free of xenophobic prejudices.’
’Although the United Kingdom will be leaving in March 2019, we will be applying to the European Court of Human Rights for an indefinite injunction as the UK is a neighbour of France.’
’Any potential EU-UK free trade deal may have to incorporate a promise to maintain the Freddo ban beyond Brexit.’
’In the event that Cadbury is willing to change the product’s design to Freddo the Flamingo, we would be happy to reconsider our position.’
As a result of the ban, a group of UKIP MEPs have vowed to dump 5000 tonnes of Nutella in the English Channel.
The protest could trigger a supply crisis overnight, with the Nutella mines of the Auvergne estimating that prices could hit £45 per jar.