A spokesperson for Facebook has confirmed that a recent update to their algorithm means that posts about fat loss, racism and ‘drinkies with my girlies’ will now be given priority and a higher position in the News Feed. 

Facebook’s Executive VP of Customer Experience Diane Veepee told a press conference gathering that they were simply reacting to consumer demand.

She added: ‘We asked 5000 regular users what they want to see on their News Feed above all else, and they gave us three key areas.’

’First of all, there is a huge demand for weight loss posts, and in particular those ‘before and after’ images that are posted with the intention of getting the reader to enter an MLM scheme that promotes a better lifestyle and more time with your children in return to selling some sort of powdered rabbit piss.’

’In addition to this, Facebook users have developed a real thirst for racist content, and we will be delighted to leave this visible wherever possible while removing posts that call people out on this horse shit.’

’Nearly 90% of those responded also said that they only really go on Facebook for photos of their girlie friends having a few proseccos and adding lengthy hashtags that nobody is actually searching for.’

’These ladies are making a massive contribution to civilisation, and this needs to be recognised by getting the images in front of the biggest possible audience.’

’We can also confirm that ‘copying and pasting’ a status will increase its visibility by 900%, and we may even consider banning those who carelessly just share cancer prevention text without even reading the ‘copy and paste’ instruction. The bastards.’

We sat down with Facebook user Michelle Garridge to test the new algorithm.

She said: ‘Let’s take a look then. OK. Weight loss, weight loss, weight loss, brown person banning Christmas, weight loss, #messygirlsnight, deport the Poles, weight loss, weight loss, #yayitsfridaygettingsmashedwithmybitchesandpullinghotguysbutnotobjectifyingthemasthatwouldbehypocritical, weight loss.’