A Facebook user has invited people to an event that nobody really gives TWO SH*TS about attending.

In a further development, it has emerged that most invited guests would rather hack off their right thumb with a rusty bread knife than actually go to Anthea Polyp’s Cheese Evening.  

Facebook user Norman Cack said: ‘I noticed that the event popped up in my news feed six months ago, and it generates an alert at least three times a week just to re-confirm that I couldn’t give a flying f**k about who is going, who can’t make it, and who is classed as a ‘maybe.’

‘The person who is hosting the event never bothers going to anyone else’s events anyway, yet for some reason she promotes her own events on social media like people can expect to see Jesus Christ himself put in an appearance.’

‘It’s always ‘sorry I can’t come to your thing, but come to my thing.’

‘I did hear a rumour that Facebook are going to implement a ‘Just F**k Off’ button for this kind of situation, but for now I’ll just have to pretend that I have emigrated to The Congo.’

We spoke to Ms Polyp earlier today, and she confirmed that she will be treating each accepted Facebook invite as a legally-binding contract. 

She said: ‘Too many people just click on ‘Going’ to try and stem the flood of Facebook notifications that are generated by a refusal to respond.’ 

‘This time around, I will be keeping meticulous notes of everyone who attends, and any confirmed absentees will be pursued through the courts.’