Will the 'Details!' button encourage people on Facebook to stop being so tit-headed and attention-seeking?

A team of social media researchers in Essex have managed to persuade Facebook to run a 6-month trial with a new button underneath every post in a news feed – ‘Details!’ This button sends a notification to the user to tell them that their message lacks any kind of detail or explanation about why they feel ‘a bit upset’ or ‘bloody mad right now.’

John Fatuous was the brains behind the idea, and he told the Southend News Network about the research project that persuaded Facebook to try his idea. He said, ‘For most Facebook users, their biggest frustration is friends that are constantly posting about how unhappy or overjoyed that they are without actually giving a reason why – usually because they get some kind of self-obsessed kick out of hundreds of comments like ‘what’s up hun.’ These are the same people who will then respond with equally tit-headed comments like ‘can’t say’ or ‘message me privitely carn’t say on here.’

‘One of the case studies that we carried out showed that a 32 year old man from North London actually bit through his iPhone due to the frustration of seeing one of his friends just post ‘Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr’ every day for six months. If there would have been our ‘Details!’ button underneath her constant posts, she could have realised sooner that she was actually killing humanity piece by piece.’

A source at Facebook confirmed that the button will start appearing in December, and also that users with repeated ‘Details!’ notifications would have their Facebook accounts suspended and their Internet-connected devices confiscated for donation to third-world countries with people that would actually use them to contribute to the progress of the human race.