A spokesperson for Facebook has confirmed that the social media network will soon start banning everyone who insists on ending every single post with a string of kisses like they are writing a get well soon card to their great nan.
Speaking to journalists at their San Francisco headquarters today, their representative Samantha Badonkadoigne told journalists that the current trend for putting ‘xxxx’ at the end of practically everything is actually borderline psychopathic.
She added, ‘Our network is now awash with posts like, ‘Does anyone know what time ASDA shuts xxx,’ and ‘Just had a lovely bath xxxx.’ What in buggering hell are these people on?’
‘On the one hand, society is telling people to stop forcing their sexual desires on one another and respect boundaries, and on the other we have people who end literally every Facebook post with unwanted advances for the entire world to see.’
‘The final straw came the other day when a girl called Michelle Garridge from Essex in the United Kingdom wrote a 1400-word post about someone looking a bit foreign in a white van hanging around a county where there are a number of schools – this post ended with five instances of the letter ‘x,’ a heart emoji and something else that we are currently having deciphered by specialists at a military intelligence unit in Zurich.’
‘As a further precaution, we are also going to begin removing posts that end with ‘TIA.’ Unless you are having a mini stroke, this abbreviation is completely uncalled for.’
However, there has been an angry reaction to the news amongst the Facebook community.
One user said, ‘How else am I supposed to end a Facebook post without conveying some sort of gratitude for the help of others?’
‘It’s not like there is some sort of suitable two-word phrase that gives an instant sense of the poster being grateful for any assistance that is being provided in the subsequent comments.’