The first convoy of UN emergency aid trucks carrying approximately 500 tonnes of raw Facebook has arrived in the UK.

The emergency measure was implemented yesterday afternoon after images and video on the social network went down across the whole of the United Kingdom.

An appeal by the Disaster Emergencies Committee has already raised more than £500,000, with millions more pledged if Bono doesn’t record a charity single.

The UN’s disaster relief commissioner Jerome Robsonne said, ‘All aid work in Syria has been suspended at this time of great crisis.’

‘Efforts are now solely concentrated on the improverished United Kingdom – we are already getting reports of members of the public having to meet in person to see how they look with dog ears and a tongue.’

Experts are currently trying to find the source of the network outage, with one Facebook insider already speculating that nobody mentioned Lewis Capaldi for eight seconds, a situation that sent a number of Facebook’s servers into meltdown because the News Feed algorithm didn’t know how to handle this.