The England manager Gareth Southgate has surprised millions of football fans today by announcing an all-female squad for the 2018 World Cup in Russia.
When asked for an explanation by journalists, Southgate replied, ‘It’s simple really. I want my squad to have the best possible chance of winning, instead of a bunch of self-obsessed crybabies who will make a million each in endorsements even if we get knocked out after the group stage.’
’Did you watch the last Women’s World Cup? We actually looked half-decent.’
’Also, gender equality runs at the heart of the Football Association. That and merchandising rights.’
Ashley Young tweeted: ‘THRILLED to be going to Russia!’