A spokesperson for the Department of Agricture and Equalities has confirmed that every home in Britain will be required to have a designated gender-neutral toilet by the end of March 2021. 

Junior minister for the DAE Julian Fin De Cloche told a packed press conference that it was time for every home in Britain to provide an inclusive and non-discriminatory toilet environment.

Mr Fin De Cloche added, ‘From March 2021, if you invite someone into your home to use your facilities and they would rather not be pigeon-holed into a ‘Gents’ or ‘Ladies’ toiletarial classification, you could be liable for a £5000 fine if you only have a toilet that has been aligned to a particular gender.’

‘For example, if you are a single toilet household and you only have a predominantly pink or blue décor, a third-party user could technically contact their local hate crime unit and file a report.’

‘Accessories and fixtures will also need to be considered carefully to ensure that your bathroom can achieve Approved Gender Neutral Status, or AGNS.’

‘For example, if you have one of those ladies with a dress that sits on your stack of toilet paper, this could technically cause offence as you are expressing the sentiment that dresses are only for women.’

‘Also, you should consider your choice of fragrance carefully, as anything that smells too feminine in nature could alienate someone who doesn’t self-identify as such.’

‘Although ‘lavender’ or ‘newborn kittens’ may be acceptable in 2018, future legislation could mean that you are better off choosing ‘bolognaise’ to remain AGNS compliant.’

The Labour Party confirmed in a press release that local constituency branches would offer a £99 AGNS Compliance Check for local households from the end of the year.

The fee will include a ‘Home MOT’ from a qualified Diverse Diversity and Diversification Specialist who will check other rooms in a property and give advise about wallpaper patterns that may offend people who get offended by certain wallpaper patterns.