A spokesperson for Greater Anglia has confirmed that the operator will be running a number of bus replacement trains this summer after the shock discovery of 22 miles of railway track between Southend and Shenfield. 

They also indicated that a number of convenient boarding and unloading points had also been uncovered.

Their statement said, ‘We’ve been conducting a considerable amount of research into this issue, and it’s become clear that the whole world doesn’t just shrivel up into a ball and die after midnight on a Friday.’

’We also noticed that if people were that desperate to have the full-on bus experience, they would just go to a bus stop and catch one.’

It is thought that the train trial could shave an hour off the existing ‘world tour of the entire f*cking universe’ route that buses currently take.