A train

A commuter on the Greater Anglia line has discovered a way of cutting out the middleman by just throwing five grand down the nearest toilet before going back to bed. 

Annabelle Humphridge makes the journey from South Woodham Ferrers to Liverpool Street five times a week, starting with the Crouch Valley Line that was recently referred to as ‘oh yeah, that’ by Greater Anglia executives.

She said, ‘I arrived at the station this morning and noticed that there were cancellations due to a cracked rail at Liverpool Street.’

’Seeing that this was just the latest cock up that I have had to endure this year, I immediately cancelled my season ticket, withdrew £5000 in notes from the bank and flushed the lot down the bog when I got home.’

’I’m amazed that they didn’t just put a bus on to be honest. They love buses. The directors probably all lie in bed at night knocking one out over an image of a refurbished 1997 LT double-decker.’