A train

A leaked email from Greater Anglia executives to Network Rail bosses has revealed that the rail operator wants the railway maintenance provider to ‘stop making them look like c*nts.’

It appears that the message has been sent as a result of extreme frustration after a period of time packed with signal failures, emergency engineering works and other stoppages that are conveniently not anyone’s fault really.

The email read, ‘Dear Useless Track Worky Bastards.’

‘Do you know how much shit we have to deal with that isn’t actually our fault?’

‘Your hi-vis clad troglodytes never have to deal with screaming customers as they are always trackside bloody miles away from those poor buggers paying five grand a year to go fucking nowhere very slowly.’

‘Your cock up. Our arse!’

‘Stop making us look like c*nts.’