Leading research from the University of West Vange have revealed today that there is a 99% chance that Button Moon is flat.
According to the project’s organiser Dr Edward Cuillere, he was promoted to carry out the study after noticing that Mr Spoon’s rocket managed to land safely on the moon’s surface in a number of episodes.
He told Southend News Network that this simply wouldn’t have been possible if the moon had a curvature judging by the size of the moon in relation to the rocket.
He added, ‘Until now, we have all been brainwashed into thinking that Button Moon is round by someone who is basically a talking bottle of Domestos wearing a bow tie.’
‘It was a vicious lie that was perpetuated by Children’s ITV in the 1980s in order to sell merchandise, and I am delighted to be able to prove them wrong after all these years.’
‘We also travelled to Cape Canaveral in the United States to see if someone with wooden spoons for arms would be able to control a space rocket that is perhaps the most blatant example of product placement in the history of advertising.’
‘Our simulation proved that it would be difficult.’
‘On the tapes, if you look really carefully in the background, you can see people moving all of the objects by hand to create the illusion of free movement as well.’
‘They really were prepared to stoop that low, and yet thousands of people just believed it to be true.’
‘I am prepared to offer £10,000 to anyone who can prove me wrong, but you might have trouble reaching me as I like to cover my pet cat in tin foil, wear him like an anti-brainwashing helmet and then hide in the cupboard under the stairs.’