Relaxing dog at the beach

With temperatures across the South East set to rise further than the surface of the Sun this week, we have had a number of letters from readers who are worried about keeping their dogs safe and well until cooler weather arrives.

Therefore, we have compiled some tips to help you all out.

Don’t leave your dog in a car with no ventilation

What the hell is wrong with you? It’s a gajillion degrees Celsius outside, and you think that it is a good idea to leave Fido in a small box of steel and glass for Christ’s sake.

Unless your beloved pooch is a cyborg covered in asbestos, take it with you.

Cracking a window open by half an inch won’t work either. Prat.

Don’t walk your dog on a boiling hot pavement

Research evidence has revealed that 99% of dogs don’t leave the house wearing a nice pair of Lonsdales from Sports Direct – they normally seem to go all ‘new age’ and step out barefoot.

Therefore, before you force your pooch to play ‘The Floor Is Lava,’ it might be a good idea to quickly check and see if the pavement is too hot to come into contact with a dog’s skin.

Place your palm on the pavement, and if your initial reaction is, ‘F**k me you could fry an egg on that,’ it’s pretty safe to say that only someone with the IQ of a saveloy would think that it’s fine to put their dog’s paws on it.

Give your dog a drink 

Have you noticed the sheer number of local businesses that are now leaving bowls of water on the pavement for passing dogs to enjoy.

There’s a reason for this. They are sick and tired of seeing people with dogs who are panting like Wayne Rooney after walking into a tea dance at the local Darby and Joan club.

If you don’t know that ‘pant, pant, pant,’ is Doggish for, ‘I have a mouth like Ghandi’s f*****g flip-flop,’ perhaps it’s time to swap him or her for a Minion toy from the arcades.