A spokesperson for the government has confirmed that anyone who sends an anonymous Valentine’s Day card is breaking the law due to the United Kingdom’s membership of the GDPR.

Under existing EU legislation, it is illegal for anyone to hold another individual’s personal details without making a full declaration about it, which technically means that anyone sending an anonymous Valentine’s Day card is in breach and could face a £100,000 fine and a custodial prison sentence.

Nigella Fistington runs GDP-Aaah! Greetings, a company that specialises in sending GDPR-compliant Valentine’s Day cards anonymously.

She said, ‘We have found a way around the draconian GDPR laws, and for £14.99 we supply a Valentine’s Day card which has a small barcode printed on the back for tracking reasons.’

‘We ask the purchaser to sign a full declaration to confirm the details of the recipient of the card, and this data is then stored away on a server that is based in Luxembourg.’

‘In the event that the recipient wants to know who the card has come from, they just need to download our dedicated Subject Access Request app, pay a £9.99 clearance fee, and then use their smartphone to take a picture of the barcode.’

‘The sender then receives a notification asking for permission to release their own details, which they can ‘opt-out’ of using a simple online form, and we can then legally deny full disclosure to the card’s recipient.’

‘This legal setup ensures that full anonymity is retained, avoiding both the sender and the sendee receiving a fine.’

We approached the European Union’s Data Commission for a comment.

Spokesperson Jerome Robsonne said, ‘After 29th March 2019, the United Kingdom is free to reject this element of pre-existing EU law in their statute book.’

‘In the event of an extension to Article 50, the United Kingdom will be subject to GDPR Amendment 129b that comes into force on April 1st that will apply the same rules and regulations to anonymously placed flaming bags of dog poo.’